The Power of God's Love - Part 1

I grew up knowing that Jesus loves me, learned it in Sunday School, sang songs about it in youth group and know that's why Jesus died on the cross, because He loves me.  The problem is that our culture over uses the word "love."

"I just love this movie!"

"Have you read that? It's my favorite, I love it!"

Even fourteen year olds are saying it to each other after a week of "dating."

You can see why I was confused and totally underrated the love of Jesus.  The problem with my entire life was my misunderstanding of His affection for me.  In my mind He was more interested what I did for Him than how I felt, how I see things or even my interests.  I wouldn't have actually come out and said that, and I'm not even sure I knew I thought that way, I didn't understand the depth of His love, so I didn't even see my error. 

A few months ago I went to a women's retreat at my church and there we were given keys with a single word on them.  The word on my key was "rejoice" but I didn't get it.  I didn't understand what God wanted me to rejoice about. As always I was self-centered and looking inward instead of the possibility that the answer was something outside of myself.  A leader helped me realize what God was trying to show me, He didn't want ME to focus on rejoicing on something, He wanted me to recognize that HE rejoices over me.  While Jesus does love me, there was something so special in learning that He rejoices at the thought of me; when He looks at me He feels joy or great delight (Merriam-Webster's definition of "rejoice").  Many times we forget that God has feelings, we forget that He feels things for us.  Let this sink in, He feels all warm and fuzzy when He looks at you. He DELIGHTS in you.  He doesn't just think about good plans for you (Jeremiah 29:11) He feels gentle, tender, loving feelings for you!

THE GOD OF THE UNIVERSE LOOKS AT YOU WITH GREAT JOY.

I just want you to see that, because that fact changed my life.  My life changed because I was no longer striving, I was allowed to enjoy Him and let Him enjoy me.  I had a wall built up between me and Him, like I could only love Him from a distance and not reach out and touch him.  That wall not only kept me from Him but kept Him from me, I would only allow Him to love me how I thought I deserved to be loved.  I had Him in this tiny box of my own understanding when He is so. Much. More.  Let Him out of the box you have Him in.  Let Him out and let Him love you the way He wants to love on you, the way you should be loved!  He wants to lavish His love on you, but so many times we believe that we were only made to love Him that we forget we were created for Him to love us back. 

Rest in His love and be filled.

The Cost of Bravery

Me and my friend, Dave Lackey, who died of terminal brain cancer.

Just this last weekend Brittany Maynard ended her own life through voluntary euthanasia. What she did was not "dying with dignity" she committed suicide. For those of you who do not know to whom I am referring, here is a link to clue you in, http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2014/10/08/this-woman-will-die-november-1-but-is-her-choice-to-end-her-life-a-suicide/. As a pro-life Christian I cannot be okay with this because her life is precious and she is not God, therefore, she is not the judge of who can live and who can die, including herself. From a human stand point who is also afraid of suffering, to a certain extent, I can somewhat sympathize; however, like I said, she is not God and she cannot play God. Now, as someone who has seen close friends and family members die of cancer, and one of them dying from brain cancer, I find it VERY offensive to hear people calling this a "brave choice."

My dear friend, Dave Lackey for example, he had brain cancer. I'm not sure of what type, but I know dying for him was a slow and not painless process. He lived with his cancer for over 10 years, and like Brittany, the doctors only gave him months to live when it all started as well. Unfortunately, I do not think Brittany realized that doctors can in fact be very wrong sometimes. For my friend, it never got severe until the last three years of his life, even then he still traveled and did ministry in telling people about Jesus! Now that, my friends, is brave! He lived everyday like it was his last, he did not go around feeling sorry for his situation, he went out and actually lived! He loved people who were not very easy to love, he told everyone and anyone he came into contact with about the love of Jesus. Why is his story not shouted from the roof tops?! He fought, yes it was hard, but he held onto the fact that God was going to keep him here as long as He wanted him to be here. When he died, he did die with dignity, he died as a fighter, he died and went on into glory to be with his Jesus. Now, THAT is courageous.

Of course I pray that God will keep me well and not ever be diagnosed with cancer; unfortunately after watching my own grandmother be diagnosed with cancer and go through chemo, I know how unexpected life really can be. However, I pray God will give me the strength to endure whatever He puts before me to face with real courage and bravery.

Okay, so I know that speaking your mind can get you lots of ignorant backlash from lots of ignorant people. I am in no way saying that Brittany's decision to commit suicide was an easy choice. All that I am asking is for people to stop calling her brave and strong, because honestly she was not. She looked into what she thought would be her future and said "I give up." That was her decision to make, I'm not saying I agree with it, but I am recognizing that it was her irreversible decision.

The dictionary's definition of the words brave and courage.
Brave: Ready to face and endure danger or pain
Courage: Ready to face and endure danger or pain
The dictionary's example of the word "courage" in a sentence literally says "He fought his illness with great courage."

So before you go off calling Brittany brave, or telling me I'm a bigot, or some other inaccurate insult, think of all the loved ones you have that are either fighting for their lives or fought valiantly until the end.

Summer Recap!

I know I've not written much since returning from Costa Rica, life has been rather crazy this summer! I doesn't even feel like I've been home for 3 months, but at the same time I feel like my GAP experience was a million years ago. I miss my GAP and Costa Rica family so very much! I cannot express how excited I am for the 2014-2015 GAP class! I'm so jealous (the good kind) of the interns that get to witness and be a part of the spiritual growth of these students. So friends and family here in the states, be in prayer for my friends and these new students as they embark on this grand adventure! After my summer of working in my church's youth department, having the time of my life ministering to and being ministered by these students, I am going to continue on with my plans to pursue a degree in youth ministry! This summer, and I never expected this, but I've really fallen in love with teenagers and working in a youth department. This hasn't even really felt like a job, except days the copier wouldn't work. Sure, there have been days that I would go home and just crash, there were moments I did mess up, but this has been such a great experience! I have fantastic bosses, Bro. Ryan and Bro. Bill who have been great in building me up and helping me get a handle on inner church ministry. One huge reason why I was looking forward to this position was because I've done every kind of ministry except this kind. I've worked with kids, grown up in street ministry, spent a year looking at missions work but I had no idea what went into behind the scenes work to keep a church up and running! It has really given me more of a passion for the Bride of Christ and love for others. One thing I know for sure about myself, I really don't love people without the love of Christ teaching me how to love. The highlight of summer was definitely Youth Alive. It was such a wonder to sit back and let God do His God-things and move in our teenagers! There were so many walls knocked down, there were so many hearts turned back to where they need to be, there were so many life changing decisions and I'm so blessed to have been a part of it! That one week was what my job for the summer had been for, and the fruit from it was so abundant that we are still seeing the after glow! I love how our youth department is slowly becoming more and more unified, God is so good and His blessings are so wonderful. To be quite honest, I was scared of this position. Isn't it funny how satan makes us afraid of the biggest blessings of our lives? I mean, think about it. What in your life were you first afraid of once that later became your passion? What ministry have you held back from because you thought "Oh, I'll never be any good at that" or "The people in that ministry do a good enough job without me." What a bunch of baloney! If God has put it on your heart to pursue something, go after it! He's given you the vision, watch Him take care of it becoming a reality through you! I promise, nothing will bless your heart more than when you allow yourself to be used by God.

See you laters and new beginnings

Well my friends, I am now back in the States and jumping back into "normal" life. Lots of things are changing and I'm getting some clarity on what God has for me! But first, how about a last few weeks recap on Costa Rica? Testing went well, some things were harder than I expected, but I survived! The week before finals I had the opportunity to go to a Saprissa Fútbol game! Oh that was so exciting, and so fun cause I went with my best friends, Hope and JT.

 

Me and Hota Te

The Saprissa Dragon!!

JT, me and Hope after the game

The week of finals we went to the beach one last time before parents got there. It was some really good hang out time. I actually almost did not go, but I was, and still am, so glad I went!!

 LeAnn, my roommate who left early, came back for graduation! That was so exciting to see her and have Marcos (our room) back together again! The night she got home we went to our favorite café together for one last roomie date. We got all dressed up, like usual, and had a fantastic time! 

Paige, Sarah, LeAnn & me

The day parents got in we did one last (sort of) Battle Cry. My parents did not get in till later that evening so I had a lot of time to be up in the pool room and pray on my own. I loved getting to pray, thank God for my new friends, pray for my new friends, write them notes, and just sing praises to God. Some days I wish I could trade places with Kari Jobe just so I could lead thousands of people in worship. Anyway, I had one last game of volleyball shared with our Torchbearer friends as a final hoorah with them. I was so excited for my parents to get into the country! We had a great time, Tuesday I took them into downtown San José, had Costa Rica Coca Cola, and went to El Sabor (the best place ever) for dinner! The next morning we went to Punta Leona and had a fun time at the beach. Mom and I got stung by jellyfish then dad and I went snorkeling. That wasn't much to brag about, but it was good daddy daughter time! Thursday morning we headed out to Arenal for two days. We did cliff jumping Thursday afternoon and went to hot springs at a super fancy resort on Friday. Friday night my roommates and I really started the packing process. That was my last night to sleep in my Costa Rica bed. Saturday morning I took my parents to Cosechas and our bread store one last time then the rest of the day was preparation for graduation that night! I had to say bye to all of my Tica friends, who I love dearly! I will see them all again one day, either on earth or in eternity. Life will never be the same because of this fantastic experience I had! God taught me so much this year. Not just about Him, but about myself. He showed me what it really means "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". He showed me that through Him, I can love. He showed me how to love others. I mean REALLY love others. The kind of love that looks past faults, extends forgiveness to the fullest, calls out sin in Christian love. Jesus' love. I read my Bible all the way through for the second time. The first time was to make myself look good, this time I hungered to know Jesus. After my conversion this summer, this year at GAP has been the best thing for me! Everything I already knew in my head became real in my heart. It was so fun really discovering who Jesus is! One way God has really spoken to me is showing me where my heart lies, and it's definitely in ministry in the States. I have NO idea what that could possibly look like, but I'm just taking it day by day. One thing I do know for sure is what God has for me this summer. I have applied and received a job at my home church in Texas as a youth intern! In the last few months God has really put the kids in my youth group on my heart. For some time now my youth group has been without a consistent youth pastor. People who invested in my life during that time without a youth pastor really impacted my life. I want nothing more than to give back and really impact lives for Christ! So this is where I am for now, as for next year it is all still up in the air. I am just praying that God will show me what He wants and make it all happen! For everyone out there who has supported me the last nine months, thank you so much! Thank you for your prayers, your sweet notes of encouragement, and your financial support! This last year could not have happened the way it did without y'all! I love you and thank God for you! 

Peace and Blessin's

Allysa

Resurrction Day with a New Heart

So, as most everyone knows, I was converted this summer. That means a lot of things are really coming alive to me on a spiritual level like they never did before. One of those things is definitely Easter! It's even more different being in a foreign country, but such a blessing at the same time to spend it with spiritual family. Saturday night we had an Easter dinner here at the Villa, we played games, had an Easter egg hunt, ate a big meal and watched The Passion of the Christ. This was the first time I had seen this movie in awhile, and definitely the first time since my conversion. Everything about it was so real, it put a beautiful image in my mind of what my Jesus, my Redeemer, my First Love, went through. A piece of my heart broke with each slap, each punch, each drop of blood. I really did not believe I would cry because I never cry in movies, there were times when I had tears streaming down my face. I guess it goes to show He took my heart of stone and replaced it with a heart of flesh, huh? All I could think about when the nails were being driven into his hands was how that was supposed to be me. While He cried out for His Father, that was to be me. He did that all, because He loves me. I was in His mind while He was hanging on that cross. You see, this is where the story really picks up, the grave did not hold Him. He's not still in the tomb. At the very end of the movie you see the character who played satan in what I suppose is hell, screaming this blood curdling scream. In the next scene you see the stone being rolled away, the burial garments, for lack of a better term, deflating, with Jesus sitting next to them with the sun shining on His face. When He stood up the camera got a shot of His nail pierced hand. Okay, I know that was just the movie, but this actually happened! For a disclaimer, this blog is not a post about how you should "turn or burn" so please, do not get that idea. I will say, this is my experience, this is what Jesus has done for me. Before I was a self-centered, angry, broken, unhappy mess. Now I, at least try more often, to think of others, I have the joy of the Lord, and have a new whole heart. It is not even because He died, obviously that had a huge part of it, but it is because HE LIVES. He saw what awful messes we were, so he put on, not even figuratively, but physically looked like our sin. Historical reports say that He did not even look like a man when they got done beating Him. He looked like my sin. Like your sin. That is what sin does, it makes the things that were once whole, beautiful and perfect and completely destroys it. Do you remember what I said about how at the end of the movie Jesus was back to His perfect state with the sun shining on His face? Yeah, that my friend is a picture of what His payment of sin did and still does. I know because I am living proof. This is what Jesus does. This is what He did. This is the work He has started in me.

Blessings,
Allysa

Turrialba, Elections, and eventful trips to San José!!!

We have only a few weeks left of GAP 2014! I absolutely cannot believe it. I’ve waited for this year for so long, I cannot believe it’s actually almost done. I have been so blessed with many once in a lifetime opportunities through this year. One of them being I’ve been blessed to be a (Very) small part of Primera Batista Iglesia de Turrialba! I love that church and community so much, I cannot imagine life without knowing them at this point! They are so sweet and growing and anointed, I cannot wait to see what other amazing things happen through them in that community. This last weekend I was allowed to go on my last trip there, it was sad, but oh so joyful. I got to visit friends I made back in January. Maryellen and I stayed with Lynn and Manfred in their apartment. We had such a good time visiting with and getting to know them. They educated us on the election that just took place on Sunday, the day we left. Now Maryellen and I really want Luis Guillermo t-shirts, so if any Ticos reading this would like to donate a couple, or even if you want to sell a couple, let me know! Anyway, that was a lot of fun. Also, Sunday morning at church I learned SIX completely new songs in Spanish and sang them with Joy and Ruben. That was helpful to my Spanish, but really made my brain hurt! That night, back in San Jose, after GGP (Our Sunday night English church) the ENTIRE country had a huge party, and being in the capital I think we got to see the best of it. I was going to go downtown with some Tico friends and join the party, but that fell through. Which was okay because on the way home from church we walked home waving Luis Guillermo flags and yelling “Pura Vida!” “Costa Rica” and other Costa Rican slang. That kind of made up for not going out, and I still got to bed at a decent time, win-win. Monday was a good relaxing day that ended with a four hour very eventful trip to San José. A group of us went downtown to film a video for graduation, however as soon as we stepped off the bus it started raining. We squeezed in a few shots before it started pouring. Some people left but some of us stayed and got dinner in San José. We found our other group of GAP students and took some more shots for the video because it had stopped raining. When we got done with that, Danita, Hope, Zack and I stayed in downtown a little longer and stumbled upon a reggae concert. THAT was interesting. I am fairly positive that I got a second hand high from that, not sure how I feel about that, but in the city not much you can do about it. How many people can say they’ve lived in Costa Rica and been to a legit reggae concert where everyone around you is high as kites? Let’s be real here, it will not be a night I easily forget. So that was my weekend, I only have about three more here to spend with my GAP family. Keep praying for us so that we might finish strong with our studies, with our devotions, and with each other. I can already see some people getting that end of the semester itch, living with people for nine months starts to wear on you after a bit. Pray that we remember that we have a short time here to be with each other and that we enjoy every moment of it. As far as an update on plans for summer and next year, I am getting some answers, but waiting on some more before I can really talk about them. If you’re in serious suspense pray harder! ;)

Love & Rockets,
Allysa

Weird Girly Things I'm learning...

Not a whole lot of things have happened since I last blogged, except God has been teaching me some cool things. So, with my personality I love to have control of situations and know what is going on for the most part. I like spontaneous, but only if I can still do what I want to do. Selfish and self-centered? Yep. Just a bit. I also worry too much about my future and, let's just be real here, who I will marry. Coming to GAP I have had quite a bit of marriage prep courses... So it really gets a girl thinking. Another key thing about me, when I start liking a guy I fall fast and hard then eventually wake up and realize how ridiculous I had just been. All this being said I recently realized I have a problem. My problem is refusing to give things to God and taking them into my own hands and figuring it out on my own. You see, people have told me to "give your feelings for _________ to God." Every time I was ever told that I nodded my head and would say "Yeah, I'll do that" and not have a clue how to do that or even what that means. So this last week while I was struggling with giving my emotions up, again trying to figure out how to do it on my own, it hit me. The first step to giving things to God is sometimes letting Him show you how to give things up to Him. At this realization I called out to God to show me how to start this process, and guess what?! He answered with a big fat yes. I can only imagine His joy over knowing that I am finally getting the picture. The best part, that night I was already being tested. I guess He really wanted to see how serious I was about this new change. I'm not sure I passed with flying colors exactly, but getting through was so much easier with His help and calling out to Him in my weakness. So girls, moral of the story, when someone tells you "give your feelings for ______ to God" nod your head, smile, then PRAY. Tell God what you're feeling, thinking, that you need His help and just ask Him to give you a hand in how to figure it out. I promise He will, and you will feel a lot better about it! Eventually I started looking at John Doe as a buddy and it makes being around him less weird and tense (completely on my part). So give things to God and it will be easier to not care about what others, especially guys, think about you.

Love & Rockets
Allysa<3